Praying for Ansley

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Windy Day!

Well, Hurricane Noel is making an appearance here... at least a little bit. We have the wind affecting us and it is making it COLD today! I had to turn the heat up a good bit!

Matthew went to a scouting event this morning, and after I dropped him off, I went looking for baby furniture. I found something I really like, but of course, it turns out to be one of the most expensive! I wouldn't have it any other way! No, but really... it isn't the cheapest furniture but it is good quality and will last and last. I think I am going to go ahead with it, but don't need to rush at the moment - it is in stock. Gotta love 'in stock'. I want to paint the nursery first so the furniture isn't in the way, but need to get a move on then!

I did hear from the adoption agency a few times this week. There was slightly downer news when they said the new time line is now more like Jan./Feb. (not Dec.) and that was for a boy. If I wanted a girl... it would be even longer. (I had put 'either' on my original application but later said I 'preferred' a girl.) I had to make a decision about the sex. Basically, I can 'choose' a girl, or I can stick with 'either' and I'll have a boy, so either way, I'm reallyhaving to now choose the sex of my baby. I didn't want to. I wanted it to be either and no decision, but like I said, I've basically been told choosing 'either' at this point will mean a boy.

SO, after thinking about that for a day, I actually had a few questions for the adoption agency, so we chatted for a while on the phone yesterday after trading emails back and forth this week. She really helped me get a grip on some things and it made me feel better to have spoken to someone about my questions. Then I had to get back to work. I went in to a big meeting, while I was in that, my cell phone rang... It was my adoption agency again! That's odd. We haven't spoken in months and I just got off the phone with them. What in the world could possibly be new already? I had to call back after the meeting and there was news!

My dossier had actually moved from the Ministry of Foreign Affiars to the Ministry of Education (which wasn't known in the earlier phone call that day). AND it had moved from MOE to a region!! Good grief! 1.5 hours before it was still in the MFA, but obvioulsy not! Now, I could hear something by the end of November!!

Anyway - the big thing now is that the gender is an 'issue'. Basically, again I was told I have to say one or the other. "Either" is fine, but it will mean boy is what I'm being told. So. although I do not want to 'decide', either way I am deciding. Does that make sense? I always wanted 4 boys. Never girls. However, from the start of this adoption, I have believed this would be a girl. I am so sure of that now, that although I don't want to say I want a girl (or read differently, I don't want a boy), that is what I think I have to say! I don't know why I have such a hard time with this, but I am. Anyway, it does mean that it will most likely take longer. It may NOT be the end of Nov. now since I am going to tell the agency on Monday that I want a girl for sure. (They said I'll have to re-do a few forms now!) Anyway, I don't want to decide the wrong thing because I have to redo a form, and I feel as though either way I am deciding what I'm getting. Yes, girl. Either, boy. So, I think I'll stick with my gut and go with the girl. It's a hard decision for some reason, and I'm going to think about it until Monday for sure, but then I'll let them know and start re-doing what I need to then. (Unless i change my mind tomorrow and go with the 'either'.)

I mean, the one truth there is of course, either means either, so it could still be a girl... but I've been told that is very unlikely if it remains either. I don't want to play God and pick the sex of my baby, but I think I have no choice now. I don't know.

Anyway, that's where we are. Deciding about gender. Picking furniture. (I was waiting until I knew the gender and would have gotten white for a girl and oak for a boy and now I've done a 180 and I think I'm going dark wood (like cherry) and it'll be good for either. Man, I'm waffling on everything! :)

I still hope to travel soon, and at the same time, I was SO relieved when I was told I'd be here through the holidays. I don't want to leave my baby (Matthew!) at Christmas! At the same time, I'm just so anxious to meet the 'new' baby that hearing it'll be after Christmas is hard too. I'm ready... NOW!

So, pray for me and the 'gender' thing... although now I'm pretty sure I'm going with the girl. (Of course, 22 hours ago, I was pretty sure I was going with 'either' and pretty much that meant the boy...) LOL. Give me 24 hours and let's see where I stand then.

Pray for Theresa who took off today with her Mom for Kazakhstan to meet her baby boy!! I can't wait to read all about their adventures. Pray for the Morgan's who are with their beauty Roxana right now and approaching the end of their bonding period. Pray for Jen and Marshall who are waiting for their LOI so they can go meet their precious little girl!!

I can't wait to see what Monday and next week brings. Things are definitely moving along - even if I don't know 'where' next! :)

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